Sad truth behind seemingly innocent sight in Perth driveway

If you saw a woman bashing around her driveway in Perth wearing a backpack stuffed with wine bottles, you’d probably think she was a bit nuts. 
But if “nuts” is what it takes to get people talking about mens’ health, that’s what Lauren Thomas is willing to do.
She and best mate Steph Brake are currently training for a 40-day trek along Tasmania’s backbone for Movember, a cause close to both of their hearts after losing men they loved to suicide.
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“In 2018 a friend of mine tragically took his own life and it really rocked our community and all my mates,” Thomas tells 9honey.
Meanwhile, Brake has lost multiple male relatives to suicide, including her own father when she was 11, and has lived with the trauma and grief of their deaths for decades now.
These two women are living proof men’s health doesn’t just affect men; and the dire statistics around the issue aren’t just hurting men.
In Australia, 43 per cent of males have experienced a mental health problem at some point in their lifetime, per the 2020–21 National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing, and men are more than three times more likely to die by suicide.
As well as mental health issues, men are more likely to drink, smoke and use illicit drugs than women and experience 70 per cent more potential years of life lost. 
Despite the numbers, men visit the doctor less frequently and usually only when their illness is advanced, due to the stigma around seeking help. They’re also far less likely than women to seek support for mental illness for the same reason.
In short, our men are dying young and often from preventable causes.
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Thomas and Brake have witnessed it firsthand and are desperate to change the situation, not just for men struggling with their health, but for the women and children affected too – because men’s health doesn’t just affect men.
“Steph’s got a husband. We’ve both got fathers, grandfathers, men in our lives that we’ve seen suffer, that we’ve seen go through hard times, and most of them do in silence,” Thomas says.
As well as living with the heartache of having lost a friend to suicide, she works on outback mining sites surrounded by men suffering in silence and feels the weight of their struggles.
“They’re not very good at expressing their emotions, I would say, apart from maybe aggression,” she reveals, “which tends not to be a good one.”
Not knowing where to go for help or how to ask for it, these men deteriorate mentally and physically while those who love them – spouses, children, whole families – struggle to reach them. Thomas says it needs to change.
“The best way to change a narrative is to get out there and create your own story, and that’s what we’re doing.”
In October, Thomas and Brake will set out on a mammoth 40-day hike spanning 550 km from one coast of Tasmania to the other to raise money and awareness for Movember and prove that Aussies of any gender can help tackle the epidemic of poor male health.
READ MORE: Mia didn’t learn the truth about her dad’s tragic death until years later
The massive undertaking is designed to show that if two women can survive in the Tasmanian wilderness for over a month, Aussie blokes can survive having a tough conversation or two about their health.
“The very first step is just being willing to be open to a hard conversation,” Thomas says.
“Because that’s what Movember is all about; sharing your story, sharing the conversation, and that kinship, because everyone knows someone … that has a lived experience or is currently suffering.”
But what does this all have to do with a backpack full of wine bottles?
While Brake has been training with short hikes in Tasmania, Thomas has had to get inventive while she prepares to trek 550km with a 20 kilo pack on her back on remote mining sites and in her flat Perth neighbourhood.
“At home I don’t have access to any weights, so I fill [a backpack] with wine bottles and just go around the house, doing my household chores, vacuuming, pulling the weeds with the backpack on,” she laughs. 
“I look like an absolute idiot.”
Other training exercises involved a bush trek that almost ended in disaster when Thomas took them in the wrong direction despite Brake warning her it was the wrong way.
After four hours of bushwhacking in a forest so dense they couldn’t see the sky, the duo had to admit defeat and turn back. 
“I should have listened,” Thomas says, then laughs and says that Steph’s raised two children, “so she’s used to dealing with toddlers like myself.”
READ MORE: Tess picked up the phone and heard a stranger dying
Thankfully, both she and Brake find peace in nature and though Thomas knows the 40-day trek next month will test them, the fight is worth it if it means taking just one step in the right direction for men’s health.
Because, after all, it doesn’t just affect men. It affects all of us.
To learn more and donate, visit the Movember website here.
If you or someone you know is in need of support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue. In the event of an emergency dial Triple Zero (000).
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